I've been told countless times how we don't need to have a baby right now. I've been told that I don't really want a baby right now. I feel like I've been told how I'm supposed to feel about the whole topic of children at the current moment...
Well...guess what? I want a baby. I want a baby now. That does not mean that now is God's time for us to have children, but I do want a child and nothing is going to change that. I've wanted to be a mother my entire life and would love nothing more than to have a child with my husband. I would have a baby NOW and be the happiest person alive! I know that having a child changes your life and is not easy...but for someone who has always wanted to spend her life as a wife and mother, the rewards of living out that purpose far outweigh the hardships I might come against as a mother.
But you know what people would say if I got pregnant right now? People would say that we're making a mistake. People would say that I should have waited to finish school. People would say that I'm too young. Basically, people would say the same things that they said when we got engaged...and that kills me. I know that eventually everyone would be happy about the new life coming into the world, but our pregnancy wouldn't be looked upon joyfully at the beginning.
I don't think that's okay. Ryder and I are married. We're in love. We want to be parents. To know that it would be upsetting to some if we got pregnant before a specific time is very upsetting to me. First of all, Ryder and I have started our own family and it is up to the Lord and us as to when we begin to grow our family. That does not mean we plan to start it during college, but what if we did? It would be wonderful because we'd be adding a new member to our family! Secondly, education is very important and you really cannot work without it. However, my desire has never been to have a career...my desire has always been to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. I am in college right now because I believe it is where I need to be and I should have a degree in case I need to work...but that does not mean that I would ever choose college over having a child. In fact, I think I'm one of those girls who could attend college and have a child. It is possible and many people do it all the time. After all, I do have a full schedule and work two official jobs (although Ryder claims I work three with as much I do for youth group and children's church). I've proven myself to be a strong, determined young lady and I feel demeaned every time someone tells me it would be a mistake to have a child right now because I could not finish college. I WOULD finish college. I would do what it takes to make sure that I could have a steady job if I ever needed to take on that role within our family. And all that leads me to when people say that I'm too young...I was too young to get married and I'm too young to have a baby. Well, like I've said, I think Ryder and I have both proven ourselves to not be your average 19 and 20 year old. We work, go to school, are dealing will illness, and we still have our heads on straight and are walking tall, thanks to the Lord. As far as physically, I'm at the prime time to have a healthy, successful pregnancy. As far as everything else, I know that God would provide for us, I know that I would LOVE to be a mother, and I know that I would finally feel like I'm actually fulfilling a Godly purpose for my life.
All that being said, I don't know when God will bless us with children. But I do know that it would break my heart if people weren't happy for us. It would break my heart if people looked down on us or felt like our lives were over. Not only would it hurt my heart, but I would feel insulted as well. It is a God-given desire that I have within my heart to become a mother and whenever that happens, God should be praised. I just hope that He is by everyone in our lives when He decides to give us a child.
And I do want a baby...whenever God sees fit, whether that be a year from now or 10 years from now.
Expression of opinion over :) Thanks for reading!
Lots of Love,
LEW
Thursday, February 9, 2012
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7 comments:
I felt *exactly* the same way up when we were first married and I was still in college. As much as I knew we had plenty of time to have kids and that there was no "rush", I got serious baby fever. :-)This was a new thing for me--until I met Graham I was career-focused, very unenthusiastic about marriage and kids.
We decided to leave our "family planning" up to God and let Him decide when we were ready, no matter what our friends and family said. God blessed us with this baby at just the right time! As much as we would have welcomed a child earlier in our marriage, I know God was waiting until we were where He wanted us to be. There are still some who think we should have waited until we have all the material things this world says we should have, who think I am throwing away my education and degree to devote my life to motherhood. Try to remember that it's God's opinion of you that counts! I'm sure you'll be a wonderful mommy when God decides it's your time.
So...everyone keeps blogging about babies...and it is slowly convincing me that I should actually publish the posts on that topic that have been in my drafts folder right now.
Lindsay, I am so sorry that people say things like that to you. People think they know God's plan for everyone else's lives. Oftentimes...they don't. I am sure that they say things without intending to be cruel, but that doesn't make it any easier. I for one will be absolutely ECSTATIC for you when you become a mother!!! Babies are definitely a blessing. God has given you and Ryder both such beautiful hearts and you are definitely living out a godly, mature marriage.
-Bonnie
Thank you so much, Sarah and Bonnie!
Sarah, thank you for sharing your story with me. It helps to hear that I am not the only one that has felt this way and that someone else has been through the same thing. And I love what you reminded me about...that God's opinion of me is the one that counts! And I know that God has a plan for our family and He knows exactly when it will start...and it will be His timing, which means it is perfect (regardless of what others say). Thank you :)
Bonnie-Go ahead and publish them! :) I think it's a wonderful thing that God has several of us in our family going through similar things...I know that it really helps because I have someone that understands. And I love reading your posts, so I think you should. Also, thank you very much! I feel the same about you and Michael...we will rejoice and praise our King together! :) Love you!
oh Lindsay! first of all- huge hugs!!! Secondly, you are exactly correct! This decision is between you & Ryder and God. If and WHEN God blesses you with the miracle of a new life, it will be a perfectly joyous reason to celebrate! Every life has a reason and purpose, and despite anyone's good-intentioned advice, many times, people don't understand how their words can sting. Please know that whomever has said these things to you, really does love you, and they do not mean any harm. However, it is only advice. Thankfully, you and your husband rest in hands of God and He offers the most important guidance. Love Sarah & Bonnie's words of encouragement as well. I remember those days... and I know that money & possessions are fleeting or may never come, but God's plan for your lives will not wait. Love you girl!!
Thank you so much, Aunt Carri! I really appreciate your words! :) I know that all the advice comes from a place of love and of wanting us to have the easiest life possible...but the words do sting, especially when they come against one of my most innate and cherished desires. I do know, however, that God will have His way in all things, despite what I plan or what others may wish. God is in control and He will grow our family in His timing! That is what I am resting in right now :) Love you too!
I love this post, Lindsay. Since I'm sort of in the same place as you (except people think I'm more stupid because I already have a baby on the way, and I don't have the college degree going for me), I don't have any special encouragement really...I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one who believes what you and your husband do about children. Hugs!
~Hannah
Thank you, Hannah! I so appreciate hearing that! :)
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