The Incredible Blessings of Babies

I've been told countless times how we don't need to have a baby right now.  I've been told that I don't really want a baby right now.  I feel like I've been told how I'm supposed to feel about the whole topic of children at the current moment...


Well...guess what?  I want a baby.  I want a baby now.  That does not mean that now is God's time for us to have children, but I do want a child and nothing is going to change that.  I've wanted to be a mother my entire life and would love nothing more than to have a child with my husband.  I would have a baby NOW and be the happiest person alive!  I know that having a child changes your life and is not easy...but for someone who has always wanted to spend her life as a wife and mother, the rewards of living out that purpose far outweigh the hardships I might come against as a mother.


But you know what people would say if I got pregnant right now?  People would say that we're making a mistake.  People would say that I should have waited to finish school.  People would say that I'm too young.  Basically, people would say the same things that they said when we got engaged...and that kills me.  I know that eventually everyone would be happy about the new life coming into the world, but our pregnancy wouldn't be looked upon joyfully at the beginning.  


I don't think that's okay.  Ryder and I are married.  We're in love.  We want to be parents.  To know that it would be upsetting to some if we got pregnant before a specific time is very upsetting to me.  First of all, Ryder and I have started our own family and it is up to the Lord and us as to when we begin to grow our family.  That does not mean we plan to start it during college, but what if we did?  It would be wonderful because we'd be adding a new member to our family!  Secondly, education is very important and you really cannot work without it.  However, my desire has never been to have a career...my desire has always been to be a wife, mother, and homemaker.  I am in college right now because I believe it is where I need to be and I should have a degree in case I need to work...but that does not mean that I would ever choose college over having a child.  In fact, I think I'm one of those girls who could attend college and have a child.  It is possible and many people do it all the time.  After all, I do have a full schedule and work two official jobs (although Ryder claims I work three with as much I do for youth group and children's church).  I've proven myself to be a strong, determined young lady and I feel demeaned every time someone tells me it would be a mistake to have a child right now because I could not finish college.  I WOULD finish college.  I would do what it takes to make sure that I could have a steady job if I ever needed to take on that role within our family.  And all that leads me to when people say that I'm too young...I was too young to get married and I'm too young to have a baby.  Well, like I've said, I think Ryder and I have both proven ourselves to not be your average 19 and 20 year old.  We work, go to school, are dealing will illness, and we still have our heads on straight and are walking tall, thanks to the Lord.  As far as physically, I'm at the prime time to have a healthy, successful pregnancy.  As far as everything else, I know that God would provide for us, I know that I would LOVE to be a mother, and I know that I would finally feel like I'm actually fulfilling a Godly purpose for my life.


All that being said, I don't know when God will bless us with children.  But I do know that it would break my heart if people weren't happy for us.  It would break my heart if people looked down on us or felt like our lives were over.  Not only would it hurt my heart, but I would feel insulted as well.  It is a God-given desire that I have within my heart to become a mother and whenever that happens, God should be praised.  I just hope that He is by everyone in our lives when He decides to give us a child.


And I do want a baby...whenever God sees fit, whether that be a year from now or 10 years from now.


Expression of opinion over :)  Thanks for reading! 


Lots of Love,
LEW

A Faithful Messiah

Yesterday during chapel, one of our peers presented a message that highlighted the question of whether we live our lives as if Jesus is faithful to us.  Do we live as if we have a faithful Messiah?  Do we live as if we know that He will fulfill His promises in our lives?  Do we live as if He has our best interests at heart and will provide safety and security through any storm?

The question of whether I live my life believing and acting as if I have a faithful Messiah really got me thinking...

I haven't. So often people say, "Trust the Lord", "God has a plan and purpose in all of this", "God is in control".  While I accept all of this as truth in my life, I haven't really been acting as if I have this relationship with the most wonderful person who ever walked this earth, God in the flesh.  I have this relationship with Him and He has always and will always take care of me.  He is faithful to me even when I am unfaithful to Him.  He loves me even when I think things are unfair and turn my back on Him...which I have been doing for the past several months.  While I do believe God has taught me a lot in the last few months and I never blatantly turned my back from the Lord, I realize now that I had closed my heart to Him because of the unjust feeling I felt due to Ryder's illness.  No matter how many times I told myself that it's all okay and God has a plan, my heart's door remained locked, steadfast, and cold.  I'd become increasing selfish, thinking of how unfair this illness is for my husband and myself.  And while it might not be fair, did God promise me fairness?  No, He did not.  As I cried out to Him asking, "Why?" last night, He soothed my soul.  I have NO answer as to why everything has happened the way it has.  The whole situation is filled with uncertainty.  But God soothed my soul and melted my heart before His throne, promising me that everything will be okay and He will use this time in our lives to bring glory to His awesome name.  It is not my job to worry about this anymore; it is not my job to dwell on Ryder's illness anymore.  It IS my job to enjoy everyday, be thankful for everyday, and spend time with Jesus everyday.  It IS my job to serve my husband and love him unconditionally, just as Christ does.  It IS my job to take care of my home with joy.  What a great reward it is to have a loving Savior who is faithful to me and reminds me that I don't have to carry burdens upon my shoulders!!!  He gives me peace in uncertain times, fills me with warmth, and makes my life beautiful.

"My soul glorifies the Lord 

and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, 

for He has been mindful

of the humble state of His servant." 

-Luke 1:46-48