As all who read this blog or know me well are aware, a lot has happened since Ryder and I got married. He got extremely sick and his body stopped functioning properly, which also led to the possibility of infertility. We went through a lot together and God has used all of it to strengthen our marriage in amazing ways. We are SO close and grow closer every day! I am so thankful for that.
Now, things are much better, as far as we know. Ryder has his first doctor's appointment in three months tomorrow, so hopefully the doctor will confirm that things are much better. We are so thankful for that as well...
But now I'm the one not dealing with things well.
Throughout Ryder's sickness, I was able to stay really strong. As soon as things got considerably better, I suddenly felt the deep emotions of all that had happened. There are a lot of deep emotions to feel when your wonderful husband of about a month or two is extremely sick AND you find out you might not be able to have children with him. Hence, I've been dealing with depression for a couple months now. There have been days when I have not gotten out of bed, left the house, or done much of anything at all. My responsibilities were extremely overwhelming and still are at times. But finally, last week, I decided to be honest and ask for help with all I've been going through. It was hard and is hard every day, but I already feel so much better in a matter of one week because I allowed people to know what was going on and allowed myself to accept help.
So, really, I'm writing this blog because I want to be honest about what I'm dealing with. I start counseling tomorrow morning and I am looking forward to talking to someone outside of the situation. I'm looking forward to talking with someone who won't demean the situation by trying to make me feel better...I just want someone outside the situation to validate that it's okay for me to feel the way I do about all the things that have happened. I think it will be good.
I also want anyone who reads this blog and is dealing with some really hard life situations to consider going to counseling now before you get to the point that I was and am at. Wise people told me to talk with someone throughout Ryder's sickness, but I chose not to because I was the strong one and I didn't need to. But I should have and I am now.
SO, don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to go to counseling even if you think you don't need it at the moment. And know that you are not alone...that is just what the depression tells you. There are always people out there who have your back and understand where you are coming from. Don't shut yourself away from life because life is going to happen whether you like it or not. It is your responsibility to help yourself and do what it takes to live your life to the fullest, just as Jesus did for us. He will get you through, like He is getting me through, and you will feel so much better if you just take it one day at a time :)
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
The Incredible Blessings of Babies
I've been told countless times how we don't need to have a baby right now. I've been told that I don't really want a baby right now. I feel like I've been told how I'm supposed to feel about the whole topic of children at the current moment...
Well...guess what? I want a baby. I want a baby now. That does not mean that now is God's time for us to have children, but I do want a child and nothing is going to change that. I've wanted to be a mother my entire life and would love nothing more than to have a child with my husband. I would have a baby NOW and be the happiest person alive! I know that having a child changes your life and is not easy...but for someone who has always wanted to spend her life as a wife and mother, the rewards of living out that purpose far outweigh the hardships I might come against as a mother.
But you know what people would say if I got pregnant right now? People would say that we're making a mistake. People would say that I should have waited to finish school. People would say that I'm too young. Basically, people would say the same things that they said when we got engaged...and that kills me. I know that eventually everyone would be happy about the new life coming into the world, but our pregnancy wouldn't be looked upon joyfully at the beginning.
I don't think that's okay. Ryder and I are married. We're in love. We want to be parents. To know that it would be upsetting to some if we got pregnant before a specific time is very upsetting to me. First of all, Ryder and I have started our own family and it is up to the Lord and us as to when we begin to grow our family. That does not mean we plan to start it during college, but what if we did? It would be wonderful because we'd be adding a new member to our family! Secondly, education is very important and you really cannot work without it. However, my desire has never been to have a career...my desire has always been to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. I am in college right now because I believe it is where I need to be and I should have a degree in case I need to work...but that does not mean that I would ever choose college over having a child. In fact, I think I'm one of those girls who could attend college and have a child. It is possible and many people do it all the time. After all, I do have a full schedule and work two official jobs (although Ryder claims I work three with as much I do for youth group and children's church). I've proven myself to be a strong, determined young lady and I feel demeaned every time someone tells me it would be a mistake to have a child right now because I could not finish college. I WOULD finish college. I would do what it takes to make sure that I could have a steady job if I ever needed to take on that role within our family. And all that leads me to when people say that I'm too young...I was too young to get married and I'm too young to have a baby. Well, like I've said, I think Ryder and I have both proven ourselves to not be your average 19 and 20 year old. We work, go to school, are dealing will illness, and we still have our heads on straight and are walking tall, thanks to the Lord. As far as physically, I'm at the prime time to have a healthy, successful pregnancy. As far as everything else, I know that God would provide for us, I know that I would LOVE to be a mother, and I know that I would finally feel like I'm actually fulfilling a Godly purpose for my life.
All that being said, I don't know when God will bless us with children. But I do know that it would break my heart if people weren't happy for us. It would break my heart if people looked down on us or felt like our lives were over. Not only would it hurt my heart, but I would feel insulted as well. It is a God-given desire that I have within my heart to become a mother and whenever that happens, God should be praised. I just hope that He is by everyone in our lives when He decides to give us a child.
And I do want a baby...whenever God sees fit, whether that be a year from now or 10 years from now.
Expression of opinion over :) Thanks for reading!
Lots of Love,
LEW
Well...guess what? I want a baby. I want a baby now. That does not mean that now is God's time for us to have children, but I do want a child and nothing is going to change that. I've wanted to be a mother my entire life and would love nothing more than to have a child with my husband. I would have a baby NOW and be the happiest person alive! I know that having a child changes your life and is not easy...but for someone who has always wanted to spend her life as a wife and mother, the rewards of living out that purpose far outweigh the hardships I might come against as a mother.
But you know what people would say if I got pregnant right now? People would say that we're making a mistake. People would say that I should have waited to finish school. People would say that I'm too young. Basically, people would say the same things that they said when we got engaged...and that kills me. I know that eventually everyone would be happy about the new life coming into the world, but our pregnancy wouldn't be looked upon joyfully at the beginning.
I don't think that's okay. Ryder and I are married. We're in love. We want to be parents. To know that it would be upsetting to some if we got pregnant before a specific time is very upsetting to me. First of all, Ryder and I have started our own family and it is up to the Lord and us as to when we begin to grow our family. That does not mean we plan to start it during college, but what if we did? It would be wonderful because we'd be adding a new member to our family! Secondly, education is very important and you really cannot work without it. However, my desire has never been to have a career...my desire has always been to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. I am in college right now because I believe it is where I need to be and I should have a degree in case I need to work...but that does not mean that I would ever choose college over having a child. In fact, I think I'm one of those girls who could attend college and have a child. It is possible and many people do it all the time. After all, I do have a full schedule and work two official jobs (although Ryder claims I work three with as much I do for youth group and children's church). I've proven myself to be a strong, determined young lady and I feel demeaned every time someone tells me it would be a mistake to have a child right now because I could not finish college. I WOULD finish college. I would do what it takes to make sure that I could have a steady job if I ever needed to take on that role within our family. And all that leads me to when people say that I'm too young...I was too young to get married and I'm too young to have a baby. Well, like I've said, I think Ryder and I have both proven ourselves to not be your average 19 and 20 year old. We work, go to school, are dealing will illness, and we still have our heads on straight and are walking tall, thanks to the Lord. As far as physically, I'm at the prime time to have a healthy, successful pregnancy. As far as everything else, I know that God would provide for us, I know that I would LOVE to be a mother, and I know that I would finally feel like I'm actually fulfilling a Godly purpose for my life.
All that being said, I don't know when God will bless us with children. But I do know that it would break my heart if people weren't happy for us. It would break my heart if people looked down on us or felt like our lives were over. Not only would it hurt my heart, but I would feel insulted as well. It is a God-given desire that I have within my heart to become a mother and whenever that happens, God should be praised. I just hope that He is by everyone in our lives when He decides to give us a child.
And I do want a baby...whenever God sees fit, whether that be a year from now or 10 years from now.
Expression of opinion over :) Thanks for reading!
Lots of Love,
LEW
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
A Faithful Messiah
Yesterday during chapel, one of our peers presented a message that highlighted the question of whether we live our lives as if Jesus is faithful to us. Do we live as if we have a faithful Messiah? Do we live as if we know that He will fulfill His promises in our lives? Do we live as if He has our best interests at heart and will provide safety and security through any storm?
The question of whether I live my life believing and acting as if I have a faithful Messiah really got me thinking...
I haven't. So often people say, "Trust the Lord", "God has a plan and purpose in all of this", "God is in control". While I accept all of this as truth in my life, I haven't really been acting as if I have this relationship with the most wonderful person who ever walked this earth, God in the flesh. I have this relationship with Him and He has always and will always take care of me. He is faithful to me even when I am unfaithful to Him. He loves me even when I think things are unfair and turn my back on Him...which I have been doing for the past several months. While I do believe God has taught me a lot in the last few months and I never blatantly turned my back from the Lord, I realize now that I had closed my heart to Him because of the unjust feeling I felt due to Ryder's illness. No matter how many times I told myself that it's all okay and God has a plan, my heart's door remained locked, steadfast, and cold. I'd become increasing selfish, thinking of how unfair this illness is for my husband and myself. And while it might not be fair, did God promise me fairness? No, He did not. As I cried out to Him asking, "Why?" last night, He soothed my soul. I have NO answer as to why everything has happened the way it has. The whole situation is filled with uncertainty. But God soothed my soul and melted my heart before His throne, promising me that everything will be okay and He will use this time in our lives to bring glory to His awesome name. It is not my job to worry about this anymore; it is not my job to dwell on Ryder's illness anymore. It IS my job to enjoy everyday, be thankful for everyday, and spend time with Jesus everyday. It IS my job to serve my husband and love him unconditionally, just as Christ does. It IS my job to take care of my home with joy. What a great reward it is to have a loving Savior who is faithful to me and reminds me that I don't have to carry burdens upon my shoulders!!! He gives me peace in uncertain times, fills me with warmth, and makes my life beautiful.
The question of whether I live my life believing and acting as if I have a faithful Messiah really got me thinking...
I haven't. So often people say, "Trust the Lord", "God has a plan and purpose in all of this", "God is in control". While I accept all of this as truth in my life, I haven't really been acting as if I have this relationship with the most wonderful person who ever walked this earth, God in the flesh. I have this relationship with Him and He has always and will always take care of me. He is faithful to me even when I am unfaithful to Him. He loves me even when I think things are unfair and turn my back on Him...which I have been doing for the past several months. While I do believe God has taught me a lot in the last few months and I never blatantly turned my back from the Lord, I realize now that I had closed my heart to Him because of the unjust feeling I felt due to Ryder's illness. No matter how many times I told myself that it's all okay and God has a plan, my heart's door remained locked, steadfast, and cold. I'd become increasing selfish, thinking of how unfair this illness is for my husband and myself. And while it might not be fair, did God promise me fairness? No, He did not. As I cried out to Him asking, "Why?" last night, He soothed my soul. I have NO answer as to why everything has happened the way it has. The whole situation is filled with uncertainty. But God soothed my soul and melted my heart before His throne, promising me that everything will be okay and He will use this time in our lives to bring glory to His awesome name. It is not my job to worry about this anymore; it is not my job to dwell on Ryder's illness anymore. It IS my job to enjoy everyday, be thankful for everyday, and spend time with Jesus everyday. It IS my job to serve my husband and love him unconditionally, just as Christ does. It IS my job to take care of my home with joy. What a great reward it is to have a loving Savior who is faithful to me and reminds me that I don't have to carry burdens upon my shoulders!!! He gives me peace in uncertain times, fills me with warmth, and makes my life beautiful.
"My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for He has been mindful
of the humble state of His servant."
-Luke 1:46-48
Monday, January 30, 2012
Happy Homemaker Monday
My cousin, Bonnie, writes a blog (along with her husband) where she shares some interesting information and the joys of homemaking on Monday. While I don't get to devote as much time to homemaking as I hope to in the future (because of school and work), I still thought it was a fun idea and something to remind me how thankful I am to have a home, a husband, and someday a family to take care of!
The weather:
It's extremely nice outside for the end of January! I needed a coat this morning, but was able to walk to class without one this afternoon :)
On my reading pile:
Honestly, school books and the Bible are on my reading list! I don't, unfortunately, really have time for recreational reading.
On my TV:
The Next Great Baker
On my menu for this week:
Maple-Chili Glazed Pork Medallions with diced, roasted potatoes and salad
On my to-do list:
School reading, tidying up the house, creating lesson plans for Friday co-op
What I am crocheting, knitting, sewing, or creating:
I'm crocheting Ryder another scarf at his request :)
Looking around the house:
I see school books!!!
From the camera:
We finally took down the banner from our rehearsal dinner and added decor to our living room wall! I absolutely love it! The shelves are crate boxes that I bought at Michael's and painted red! I think it turned out great!
Something fun to share:
Today, I got back my first test from my Primary Reading course! I made a 55/55 and my professor wrote "Wow!" next to my score :) Needless to say, I was pleased! haha :)
On my prayer list:
My husband and his continual healing
Two of my cousins and their husbands
Our youth group
Bible verse, devotional:
"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me". ---Mark 9:37
Monday, January 23, 2012
And another semester begins...
Well, since my last update we've been to California and back again, we had Christmas 4 times, we rang in the New Year, and we've started school again! We had an absolutely wonderful Christmas break...and one thing that was SO wonderful about it was the fact that my handsome husband, Ryder, has continued to feel better and stronger all the time. Unfortunately, he is still losing weight but that could have something to do with the medicine he is on currently. He has an appointment this week with a dietician to see if we can figure out what he needs to be eating to put some meat on his bones, so to speak :) He eats TONS now, all healthy, but TONS. Sooo, we'll see what the doctor says and go from there...
As far as his hormone problems, he goes to the doctor at the end of February to get blood work done again and then will meet with the doctor at the beginning of March to go over the results and make a game plan about what we need to do next, if anything. One piece of good news to report is that he is growing hair again, which means that he does have some working testosterone in his body! Praise the Lord for that!!! We don't know how much or how quickly it is being produced, but we do have physical evidence that things are getting better!
School is going well but is SO busy and HEAVY this semester! I even dropped a class (Math) so that I could lighten my load a little bit. Instead of being over full-time this semester, I'm just going with full-time ;) But really, working two jobs and taking the classes I am taking (one that requires 20 hours of practicum) is a lot to do but I am enjoying it so far! :) I absolutely LOVE and ADORE and HAVE SO MUCH FUN teaching for the homeschool co-op! I am so blessed that God allowed me to be involved with and teach a great group of kids this semester. It is such a good experience and such a blessing for me!!!
Other than that, Ryder and I have made our plans and reservations for our First Anniversary trip...but we aren't telling anyone where we are going until we come back! :) It's going to be a surprise for everyone that is interested...and it is going to be so much fun for us! We didn't really have a honeymoon, so this will be our first trip to somewhere new and exciting together!!! :D We are really, REALLY excited!!! (As you can tell :D)
God has been doing some great things for both of us recently and we are so thankful...He is growing us spiritually and healing illness physically. I am so thankful and I am looking forward to growing closer to Him and to my sweet husband during 2012!!! <3
Lots of Love,
LEW
As far as his hormone problems, he goes to the doctor at the end of February to get blood work done again and then will meet with the doctor at the beginning of March to go over the results and make a game plan about what we need to do next, if anything. One piece of good news to report is that he is growing hair again, which means that he does have some working testosterone in his body! Praise the Lord for that!!! We don't know how much or how quickly it is being produced, but we do have physical evidence that things are getting better!
School is going well but is SO busy and HEAVY this semester! I even dropped a class (Math) so that I could lighten my load a little bit. Instead of being over full-time this semester, I'm just going with full-time ;) But really, working two jobs and taking the classes I am taking (one that requires 20 hours of practicum) is a lot to do but I am enjoying it so far! :) I absolutely LOVE and ADORE and HAVE SO MUCH FUN teaching for the homeschool co-op! I am so blessed that God allowed me to be involved with and teach a great group of kids this semester. It is such a good experience and such a blessing for me!!!
Other than that, Ryder and I have made our plans and reservations for our First Anniversary trip...but we aren't telling anyone where we are going until we come back! :) It's going to be a surprise for everyone that is interested...and it is going to be so much fun for us! We didn't really have a honeymoon, so this will be our first trip to somewhere new and exciting together!!! :D We are really, REALLY excited!!! (As you can tell :D)
God has been doing some great things for both of us recently and we are so thankful...He is growing us spiritually and healing illness physically. I am so thankful and I am looking forward to growing closer to Him and to my sweet husband during 2012!!! <3
Lots of Love,
LEW
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Blessings...
"What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near? What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?" ---Laura Story, "Blessings"
God has used that song in my life like CRAZY this past week! When I wrote my last blog, this song kept coming to mind...and then Ryder and I went out to run an errand. Sure enough, what song was playing on the radio as we drove to the gas station? THIS ONE. And I cried and cried and cried a little more. God brought this to mind and played it for me so that I could remember the truth in it's words...sometimes His blessings come through raindrops. AND He has a really great reason for that.
In 1 Peter, Paul reminds us about trials and God's intention behind suffering:
God has used that song in my life like CRAZY this past week! When I wrote my last blog, this song kept coming to mind...and then Ryder and I went out to run an errand. Sure enough, what song was playing on the radio as we drove to the gas station? THIS ONE. And I cried and cried and cried a little more. God brought this to mind and played it for me so that I could remember the truth in it's words...sometimes His blessings come through raindrops. AND He has a really great reason for that.
In 1 Peter, Paul reminds us about trials and God's intention behind suffering:
"6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
Although it might not seem fair at the time, God gives us suffering through trials so that we can spiritually mature and grow closer to Him. Throughout this time, Ryder and I have grown SO much closer to the Lord and to one another. This trial has been really great for us spiritually and in our marriage. That's a blessing through raindrops, don't you think? :)
God is really teaching me, specifically, to rely on Him. I have always been Little Miss "I need to know what is going on, I need to know what to do about it, and I need to fix it". Well, guess what? I don't know what is going on, I have no way of knowing what to do about it, and I'm fairly certain I can't fix it. What I can do is rely on my Father who promises the best for those who love Him! I can rely on the promise that He will never give me more than I can bear and that He gives suffering to further grow me into the woman He desires me to be.
I still firmly believe that God will give us a least one child biologically. But, if He chooses not to, His will is far better than my own and I will trust in Him. He's also teaching Ryder and I that He wants adoption for our family. More than anything, I think what is happening right now is God's way of cementing our desires to grow our family through adoption. God has opened our eyes to the fact that many people do not consider adoption as an option for their families. Throughout this whole experience, I could never bring myself to saying, "But I want to be a mommy SO badly" because I will be a mommy. Whether I give birth to our babies or not, I will be a mommy. But lots of people don't feel that way...and that's okay. After sharing with Ryder, praying, and reading Scripture and numerous accounts of adoption by Christian families, I truly believe that adoption is a special calling and desire that God only gives to a few. It is an honor to parent a child and it is definitely an honor to adopt a child to parent as well. After reading through the website for Shaohannah's Hope, an adoption aid organization founded by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, I stumbled upon a very enlightening, beautiful way to view adoption...
God considers us His adopted children. Numerous times in the New Testament, Paul refers to our "adoption to sonship". Here is one example from Ephesians:
"5 he[a] predestined us for adoption to sonship[b] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—"
This is why I say that adoption is an honor. Not everyone feels called to adopt; it is a hard, emotional process to take in a child that does not physically come from you and to love that child the same as if you had carried them within you for nine months. You're accepting that child as your own, just as God accepts us as His own. So, what He has shown us through this is that He wants us to adopt because He has designed our hearts to love babies who have no one else to love them; He wants us to love them so that the world can see a testament of His love and adoption of us as His beloved children.
God has taught me a lot recently (as you can tell) and I am beyond thankful. I know and trust in His teaching and the way He is leading our lives right now...our God is really the best. There aren't words adequate enough for His description.
Please continue to pray for us during this time. Ryder is meeting with his endocrinologist today, so Lord willing we will have some answers soon and it will be something that is easily fixed. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support!!!
Lots of Love,
LEW
Friday, December 2, 2011
The depths of despair...
Okay, so maybe things aren't that bad but I felt the need to pay homage to one of my favorite characters of all time: Anne, with an "e", of Green Gables. Anyways, life has been pretty hard lately. Thankfully, I can see the hand of God moving throughout all of this but it is still really difficult to go through. For anyone who might not know the situation, Ryder is having health issues which have caused none of his hormones to work. I never realized how BIG a role hormones play in our body until Ryder got sick. Right now, we know that he doesn't have a tumor (praise the Lord), but we have no answers as to why his hormones aren't working. He has been taking thyroid medication and getting testosterone shots every two weeks and those have been helping him SO much. But he is still sick, so we are anxiously awaiting answers and results.
One thing that has been weighing heavily on my heart is the fact that we might not be able to have our own children. Because of Ryder's hormone problem, he is entirely infertile now. If they are able to completely fix the problem, the doctor said that his fertility would probably become healthy again within 3 to 6 months...but we don't know for sure. I have tried SO hard to act strong about this and to remember the things I know: God works for the good of those who love Him, He has a beautiful plan for us, and He has purposefully laid a special desire for adoption within my heart. I know that if we were only able to adopt, those babies would be OUR babies that God designed for OUR family. Regardless of if we can have our own children, we both have always wanted to adopt so I have absolutely no qualms with raising a family built by adoption. However, I cannot deny the desire to carry a child within me, give birth to a child, and to know that our child is a result of the beautiful and sacred marriage covenant between Ryder and I. It hurts. It hurts really badly to think about not being able to have our own babies. I'm the girl who has dreamt about how fun it will be to be pregnant and go through that stage in life. It's such a special thing to carry a baby inside you...that baby is a part of you. And I might not have that...
I know I would have something just as beautiful in a different way, but that doesn't remove this desire.
So, right now I'm trying to focus on the positive things and to remind myself that God has a glorious plan for us. Whatever happens will be the perfect thing for our family. It's really hard to not think about it when I see so many friends who are pregnant or have little ones...it's hard not to think about it when I turn on the TV and see a commercial or show about having a baby. I feel like this is something that directly attacks an innate, divine desire God places within a woman. It's just so hard...so, if you read this, please pray for me and pray for Ryder as well. God has really used this time to strengthen us and our marriage, but we are also having to deal with some very scary, heartbreaking possible realities.
We are so thankful for the support we've received from family, friends and professors. God has blessed us so much with a community of Christ-following believers who are fervently praying for us. We're so blessed <3
Lots of Love,
LEW
One thing that has been weighing heavily on my heart is the fact that we might not be able to have our own children. Because of Ryder's hormone problem, he is entirely infertile now. If they are able to completely fix the problem, the doctor said that his fertility would probably become healthy again within 3 to 6 months...but we don't know for sure. I have tried SO hard to act strong about this and to remember the things I know: God works for the good of those who love Him, He has a beautiful plan for us, and He has purposefully laid a special desire for adoption within my heart. I know that if we were only able to adopt, those babies would be OUR babies that God designed for OUR family. Regardless of if we can have our own children, we both have always wanted to adopt so I have absolutely no qualms with raising a family built by adoption. However, I cannot deny the desire to carry a child within me, give birth to a child, and to know that our child is a result of the beautiful and sacred marriage covenant between Ryder and I. It hurts. It hurts really badly to think about not being able to have our own babies. I'm the girl who has dreamt about how fun it will be to be pregnant and go through that stage in life. It's such a special thing to carry a baby inside you...that baby is a part of you. And I might not have that...
I know I would have something just as beautiful in a different way, but that doesn't remove this desire.
So, right now I'm trying to focus on the positive things and to remind myself that God has a glorious plan for us. Whatever happens will be the perfect thing for our family. It's really hard to not think about it when I see so many friends who are pregnant or have little ones...it's hard not to think about it when I turn on the TV and see a commercial or show about having a baby. I feel like this is something that directly attacks an innate, divine desire God places within a woman. It's just so hard...so, if you read this, please pray for me and pray for Ryder as well. God has really used this time to strengthen us and our marriage, but we are also having to deal with some very scary, heartbreaking possible realities.
We are so thankful for the support we've received from family, friends and professors. God has blessed us so much with a community of Christ-following believers who are fervently praying for us. We're so blessed <3
Lots of Love,
LEW
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